Taking time out

EXHAUSTED.  That's the word I would use to explain our family at the moment.  I feel like a tornado has picked up our family and has twirled us around for months and FINALLY put us back down.  What is the name of this tornado?  Football.  This was the first year for tackle football for us and it had us in a tizzy!  It is finally over.  Do not get me wrong, I LOVE watching my boys play football, absolutely love it.  It was a blast to watch G-Man out there and see his face light up when he became the champions b/c they were undefeated.  It was such a joy to watch Randy get out there and tackle and see the love for the game grow inside him.  It's just been exhausting.  

The other day, I signed the boys up for basketball.  I learned that G-Man and Randy wouldn't be on the same team due to their age differences.  They also have different "seasons."  This means G-Man would play for a while and then after he was finished, Randy would pick up.  When that was over, baseball would start.  I had a mental breakdown.  

Randall got home and I discussed my thoughts with him.  I told him how that night was the first night in a LONG time that we had at home.  We cleaned, played, curled up and watched tv, laughed, and even had a home cook meal.  It was GLORIOUS!  The kids were enjoying each other and just loving the time at home.  We decided to skip basketball season.  I thought for sure Randy would not be happy. I was in tears thinking about telling him.  But, guess what?!  He was all for it.  Even at his young age, he realized how much we needed that time at home, together.  He said he wanted more nights like the one we just had. 

Please don't get me wrong, I LOVE watching my boys play sports. However,  I saw the need that our family had.  We needed time TOGETHER.  Not on a field, or on a court.  We needed togetherness.  Our family was craving it and we didn't even realize it.  Everyone was on edge.  Everyone.  I told Randall I felt like I was being selfish.  He told me, "What part of wanting to be together is being selfish?"  

A couple of days later, I pick up the boys from school and I hear Randy say, "YAY!  Tonight is fun night!"  I asked him what that meant.  His response was, "You know, a night like we had the other night, playing and enjoying time at home!"  

Yes, I think it is safe to say we made the right choice.  Will I miss basketball season?  You betcha.  I love the sound of the ball dribbling up and down that court.  However, I love the sound of my children laughing and enjoying time together much more.  

I don't know what it was that got our family in this rut, but I am thankful we saw the need to climb out.  Some families can do it and still find time together, but I felt like our family was falling apart.  We were all frustrated with each other and just not focusing on our family and the Lord.  I am excited for some quality time together, which is MUCH NEEDED!  

Finding joy in the little things

Having our little G-Man has opened our eyes to find joy in the little things.  I feel like even though this isn't our first round of having a child his age, it's fun to watch him experience new things!

We got him right around the time of sign ups for baseball.  The best part, he was able to be on the same team as Randy for this year!  He had a bit of baseball knowledge, so it was fun to practice with him in the yard before season began.  He was an absolute HOOT to watch play!  He played catcher quite a few times.  He's on the smaller side, so it was hilarious to see him in the gear.  It swallowed him, but he was a good sport!  My favorite part of the whole season was when he hit the ball, made it home, or did something awesome, when it was time for him to come into the dugout, he would run to me and say, "Mrs. Sadie, did you see me do that?!"  He was always beyond excited and proud!  We were too!  Nothing is as fun as watching a kiddo learn and gain confidence in their skills!

He is also learning how to swim.  When he came to us, he wasn't confident in the water.  He is now!  He has loved to swim at the pool, no matter if it was at my parent's, the aquatic park, church camp, or a friend's house!  You  never know what a foster child has experienced so when it comes to scary situations, you have to be extra careful and patient.  We are taking swimming slowly, but he is catching on super fast and impressing us!  I think by the middle of July, he will be a swimmer!  After the pool, he loves to come home and tell Randall all about learning to swim and how he went off the diving board with his swim vest!

Even though I am excited to sit and watch him experience things, I can't help but feel guilty.  I am not the mom who gave birth to him.  I'm not the one who carried him for 9 months.  This is something she should get to experience and see.  I pray for her every day.  I can't imagine not having my child.  No matter the circumstances, his mom will always be in my prayers.  Jesus can change any situation and He can change anyone.  Please be praying for his family.

We Could Never.....

Hi again everyone!  It's been quite some time since I have blogged, but I have some big news!  We FINALLY opened our home for fostering!  Our CALL coordinator asked for bloggers to blog about foster care and I figured now was as good of a time as ever to open this back up and begin blogging!

The title of this post is "We Could Never."  I want to begin with the fact that this was not our view on fostering.  In fact, it was something God called us to do and we answered.  We knew that if God called us, He would equip us.  That's exactly what He has done.  I titled this post because I hear those words often.  So often when people see us with our G-Man, I am told, "I'm so proud of your family.  We could never do it."

People, let me first just tell you this.  You CAN do this.  Will there be difficult times?  Of course.  Will there be tears shed?  Of course.  However, would you rather these sweet, precious children not experience love?  Don't they deserve us being attached and loving them?  Don't they deserve someone crying over them.  Don't they deserve our prayers?  Don't they deserve a home where they will feel safe and protected?  If you answered yes to any of those questions, then you CAN do it.  In the end, it's not about us, it's about them.  I think having my heart broken is worth it for these children to feel showered in God's love!

As we enter the unknown, we have to trust that God is by our side.  He will guide us and give us all we need.

One More Soul!

Randy became a child of the One True King on June 6, 2015!  What an amazing night it was.  We were at church camp at Baptist Vista.  Brother Zach hadn't even made it up to start preaching, but the song Just As I Am was playing.  Kids were coming to the altar.  Randall and I went up there and began praying for the youth that had heavy hearts.  As I come back to the pew,  I see that Randy is crying.  We asked him what was going on and he replied that he wanted Jesus and he didn't want to go to hell.  Randall and I looked at each other in shock!  He was so young.  We sort of questioned it, but decided he was ready.  He knew the steps, he understood sin and why we needed to be saved.  We followed him up to the altar, and Randall lead him in a sinner's prayer of salvation.  WHEW!  What a glorious, glorious day!  God is oh so good!  It felt so good to know that our little family of four will ALL being going to Heaven one day.
Before the services at church camp, Randall takes a rock and prays over it.  The rocks are given to the child that accepts Jesus as their Savior at camp to signify that Jesus will forever be their rock.  I think it is a fantastic tradition.  Little did Randall know that the rock he prayed over would be going to his baby boy that night!
Here he is that night!

Shortly after church camp, Randy made the decision to be baptized and show his profession of faith and take the first step.  Bro. Troy allowed Randall the opportunity to baptize him.  I am so grateful that both of my kids had the opportunity to be baptized by their own father.  What a special memory that will be for each of them.  

As a mother, knowing that your children are going to heaven, well, NOTHING can top that.  I have prayed and prayed for each of my kids to come to make that decision on their own.  Some may think Randy was too young.  Some may even think Ruthie was.  BUT, I know.  I saw the look in their eyes, and I could tell it was true and heart felt.  Nothing is sweeter than that.  I praise God every day that  I will see them in Heaven when that time comes.  You can't take anything but family with you to Heaven and I am grateful I get to do just that.  

Mother's Day 2014

Let's just say this weekend was PERFECT!  Randall and I enjoyed a perfect float trip on the Mulberry with friends.  It's times like that, that I wish I had underwater housing for my camera.  I would love to capture the beauty of the Mulberry!

The two precious babies who call me Mom:

After church: Mom, me, Ruthie, & Randy

Mom carried us for so many years, we decided to carry her!

On the way home from my mom & dad's, Randall let Ruthie drive!

Needless to say, it was a perfect weekend.  I needed the time outdoors and the time spent in God's Creation! Hope you all had a wonderful Mother's Day!

Once again.....it's been a while

Whew.  It has been a long time since I have updated this thing.  I was sitting down looking through all the memories, and remembered how much fun it is to put all my thoughts into writing and look back on all the memories that are on here.  It reminds me of how truly blessed I am!

It's been a crazy winter here.  We have been hit with some major snow and ice, which put us out of school more than I can ever remember.  I know this much though, I am SICK AND TIRED of this cold!  I am ready for warmer weather, shorts, t-shirt, and baseball!  We are signing up Randall for t-ball once again and I couldn't help but look back at my old t-ball posts and smile.  He has grown so much.  They both have.  Ruthie is turning in to such an amazing, loving, kind young lady.  She amazes me every.single.day.  She has such a huge heart.  She cares for "the least of these", just like Christ tells us to.

Everything is really going great with us.  I can't complain.  Youth group is growing like crazy!  We moved to a room upstairs.  Ended up having to break down a wall and combine two rooms into one for more room and I almost think we need even more room!  What a blessing!  I love our youth.  Those kids amaze me.  They are so inquisitive.

Randall and I have always felt a calling on our hearts to foster.  We went to an informative meeting with the CALL and it only made us feel even stronger about the issue.  We KNOW it is something we will do.  I at least need to finish college- which I PRAY happens within this year.  Then, when I get a job teaching, we will be able to fix our house and make it ready to take in more kids.  We have the room, just need to get it ready.  The night we went to the meeting I laid in bed reading the booklet of information.  Thoughts were going through my head.  It's such a big step to take and it will ROCK our world.  But I know that God has laid it on our hearts for a reason.  We know we are called to do it.  It's times like these that I get frustrated with myself for not finishing school earlier b/c if I would have, we could have been fostering already.  However, I know that this is God's plan.  Our bio kids need to be prepared as well.  I think Ruthie is pretty much there.  She keeps asking, "When will we foster, Mom?"  If she sees me reading information on fostering, she gets excited thinking it's sooner than it really is.  It brings such joy to my face that she is excited about it.  Randy isn't quite sure what any of it means.  I think he will adjust well.  He loves big kids and little kids, so I am not as worried about him.  It's more Ruthie that I worry about b/c she's.....I don't know how to put it other than emotional.  She will become attached and get heartbroken.  She will question why.  This will be the hardest part.  It's easier for Randall and I to understand why, but not for her.  Speaking of the question "why", if you have a chance, check out this blog and read her post on fostering.  Randall and I always struggled with answering some questions and this lady's words answer those questions perfectly.  Once I read it, I felt like she had been in my mind and knew exactly how I felt.  Please pray for us as this journey is upon us.  We are ready  and willing to jump through that door when the chance arrives!

I can't wait to share some photos soon.  We celebrated Ruthie's 8th birthday.  Yes, EIGHTH!  Where has the time gone?!  I can't believe she is already 8.  She is such a beautiful girl!  Speaking of b-days, we are so close to celebrating Randy's 5th!  That's even crazier!  My baby boy is about to turn FIVE!

I want to leave you with these lyrics to a song that has touched me in so many ways:

"Was I love, when no one else would show up?
Was I Jesus to the least of us?
Was my worship more than just a song?
I want to live like that.
And give it all I have.
So that everything I say and do points to You."
(Song titled: Live Like That by Sidewalk Prophets)

EASTER & T-BALL

It's been a while since I last posted.  As always, a busy house around here.  This post will be quite random, due to the fact of so many different things going on!

Easter was a BIG day around here.  First off, Easter is my favorite holiday.  Not for the bunny, the candy, or the eggs.  I love that this holiday is focused on Jesus and His resurrection   There is no better way to spend a holiday than praising our Savior!  To make this an even better holiday- Miss Ruthie was baptized.  To make it EVEN MORE memorable- she was baptized by Randall!  What an amazing opportunity!  Ruthie had asked to be baptized on Easter, but I told her she might not be able to.  They were having a play and I wasn't quite sure.  We talked to Bro. Troy and he said let's go for it!  Then he pulled Randall aside and asked him if he would like to have the honor.  Of course he said yes.  I am so thankful for him allowing him to do so.  The play was great and Ruthie sang her heart out.  When it was time for baptism, she was scared. She calmed down just enough to let Daddy baptize her!

Here she is practicing for the play.  I haven't edited the ones off the camera yet:

Here she is walking down.  If you know Ruthie, you can tell she was about to cry:

Professing her confession to Christ:

Baptizing her:

And showing her obedience to Christ through baptism:

Needless to say- another amazing moment in my life.  I am so proud of my little girl and the young lady she is becoming!

**-------------------------------------------------------**

We have started t-ball!   It is H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S!  Randy is clueless to say the least.  He isn't sure where first, second, or third is.  He knows home plate though!  He has tried to run all over the place.  He is getting better, but we have missed so many practices due to the weather, that he hasn't had a chance to learn everything.  His first game was rained out, and I am about 99.9% sure his game tonight will be rained out.  His next one is Thursday.  I hope it doesn't get rained out too.  Here are a few photos from t-ball.

First practice:

Flying to first base:

Batting time:

Growing up, baseball was my LIFE!  My big brother Joe taught me all I know.  I played softball for a year, but my dad didn't like me playing that b/c they told us to roll the ball.  He wasn't going to stand for that.  So, he registered me to play baseball with the boys.  I was the only girl in the league.  Let's just say I was one crazy boy crazy tomboy- so this was like heaven!  Everyone says I was pretty good.  To be honest, I don't remember how good I was.  I did make the all-stars team though!  I played for about three years.  It was probably some of the best summers of my life!  Being at the ball fields is something I really love.  There is something about the smell, the sounds, and the lights.  I always feel like I am dreaming by looking at those lights.  Just brings back so many memories of my childhood.  I love experiencing new memories with my babies.  

BORN AGAIN!

I am so thrilled to be writing this post!  It's been my dream for so, so very long! Sunday was the best mommy day ever!  We had a guest speaker, Bro. Rocky Goodwin.  It was our first service as an organized church.  Our church has been a mission church for 10 years, and we organized Saturday in to our own church.  Bro. Rocky came ready to preach and he was on fire!  We also had guest singers. We had two of the Diamond State Trio singers.  They are amazing.  We were worshiping in song, and the Holy Spirit was there.  We sang "Surely the Presence of the Lord is in This Place."  What a perfect, perfect song!  I could feel the Holy Spirit!  He showed up!

I was crying during the worship service.  It just kept going during Bro. Rocky's message.  When he was speaking on his grand-kids and their salvation, tears were just coming.  I can never hold back the tears when people discuss little souls being saved!  I was sitting there just crying, praying that Ruthie would soon accept Jesus.  We have discussed it with her numerous times.  I have felt like there were times when I pushed her.  I didn't want to.  I wanted Jesus to knock on her heart.  As we were sitting through the service, I noticed she was paying attention.  I think it was hard not to with Bro. Rocky!  He was on a roll!  As it came to the end of the service, Bro. Rocky asked everyone to bow their heads. He prayed with everyone, and helped lead people through the plan of salvation.  At this time, I am bowing my head, praying that Ruthie will feel the Holy Spirit.  As I glance down at her, I see tears in her eyes and she tells me she wants Jesus, and doesn't want to go to hell.  She told me she prayed for Jesus to come into her heart!  PRAISE GOD!  God answered my prayers RIGHT THEN AND THERE!  What a blessing!  Randall nor I could hold back the tears.  I was shaking with tears of joy!  I have never felt so much relief in my life.  We went up front and she told Bro. Troy that she wanted Jesus!  Oh my!  I cried all day long!  Tears of pure joy knowing my sweet Ruthie will be in heaven with me when our time comes!  Every time I look at her, I tear up.  I have been waiting and praying for this day and God answered!  God is so good.

There are many, many worldly things I can give my children; money, toys, clothes, electronics, but only GOD can give salvation. My baby girl is a daughter of the Most High, a child of the King, a queen in the eyes of God, clothed in His majesty, and I pray that she continues to see God's love and let it flow through her into others.  I pray that she sees this as a new start and allows the Holy Spirit to lead and guide her through everything in her life.  There is NO better feeling than knowing where your children will spend eternity.  I am still on cloud nine!

We didn't have evening services, so we went up to Ft. Smith to celebrate!  She picked where we had lunch, went to Creekmore Park, went to Micheal's, Book-a-Million, and truly enjoyed the day!

On the way to Ft. Smith, right after church!

Of course I had to embrace the camera with my girl!

Randy and Ruthie playing at the park!

My lunch box note for her today.

To make today even better, she came home telling me how she was telling others about her salvation.  It did sadden me that one little girl told her that wasn't how you get saved.  I explained to Ruthie that it was.  She knows Jesus is in her heart.  She felt Him!  She is so on fire for God! 

Life, it's blessings and struggles

I have failed at updating this blog.  I doubt I have many readers! (maybe just Mari!  She is the only one who comments!)  However, I still like to blog to look back on the memories!  I LOVE looking back at my old blog and seeing Ruthie, little itty bitty Ruthie!

As always, things are crazy around here.  I wish I could say we have learned to slow down.  Nope.  Even though we are not in any extra curricular  activities, we are still busy!  I don't think I have mentioned my praise on here yet!  A while back, Randall was asked if he would be willing to work Monday-Thursday, 7-5.  His old crazy schedule, was three days on, three days off, with each shift switching nights.  He jumped on this opportunity.  I am so happy too b/c god blessed us with it!  Randall has always wanted to be able to attend church each and every service.  When we took over the youth, we realized his old schedule was quite hard.  I would teach when he worked, but I had to find a male to fill in.  It was much easier when he was there and then we didn't have to burden anyone.  Now, he is able to be right there, every.single.service!  The kids are loving it too.  He also gets off at 5pm instead of 7pm!  Makes bedtime much easier and dinner time too!

We are loving leading the youth group.  We really see their growth.  We recently knocked out a way and joined two rooms together to make one larger room.  Let's just say if we wouldn't have, last Wednesday night would have been SQUISHED!  We were so thankful to have a room full of youth!  To top it off, we had an amazing young lady and her brother teach a lesson on forgiveness.  Wow.  It was so moving and so amazing to see God work in these young people's lives and see them grow, all for His glory!  She moved many of us to tears.  I truly believe when you can learn to forgive, you have reached a very high spot in spiritual growth.  Especially when it's something like this situation was.

I am still doing a few classes at college.  I am struggling b/c it is not my main priority, but I know it's for the best.  Just hard to deal with it all.  This semester I am taking an Organizational Leadership class (what I am majoring in) and Social Psychology.  The funny thing is, I am enjoying my Social Psych class!  I do find it interesting.  It's just hard to find the time to study and do my work.  I usually wait until the last minute. 

My baby girl turns SEVEN tomorrow.  SEVEN! Where has the time gone?  She has amazed me lately.  She challenges me in every sense, but that's just who she is.  I recently talked to her teacher and I was confronted with a hard situation.  Raising kids is not as easy as it seems.  I want to raise her in God's way.  I hope we are doing just that.  The situation is- Ruthie seems to always believe everyone should be kind at all times.  She gets her feelings hurt very, very easily.  This in turn, breaks my heart.  When my baby girl comes home crying, I feel like I am failing her.  I can't help but wonder if I have failed her.  I really don't know how to handle this situation.  Of course we tell her others are mean and we have to rest in the fact that we are weird (just using Bro. Travis' terms!) b/c we follow God in all that we do.  Or at least we TRY!  She expects more out of people.  I see this as a positive thing, but yet I see her heart being broken over and over.  It's such a fine line, and apparently I struggle with finding that line. My heart just aches for her. 

Life is a constant struggle and times are only getting worse.  I just pray that God tells Jesus, "Son go get Your children" soon.  I have always wanted to see my grandbabies, but yet, I don't want them to suffer in this world. 

Walking the Talk

That was our church camp theme last year.  Funny how you can think you are, but in reality- you are not.  I have not been as faithful as I need to be on my personal studies. We study for our youth group and I study for my Sunday School class, but I rarely make time for my personal studies.  It shows in my daily walk.  I have failed Him. However, this makes me even more thankful for His unending love.  So grateful.

I have started a study in John.  I have read books of the Bible and lots out of John but I don't think I have sat down and studied this book from start to finish.  I am starting now.  I am not trying to fly through it.  I am taking it chapter by chapter and maybe less if it involves much more detail.  Chapter one itself showed so much to me.  I want to include some of my notes, just in case someone (anyone?) out there could use this.

John chapter 1:

• God was there, along with Jesus.  John came to share Jesus.  Light (Jesus) will always overcome darkness (evil.)  In this light, we see who we truly are, but it helps to put us on the right track.  We are witnesses- here to reflect God's light.  
• Moses came to present the law, but Jesus came to show God's mercy, love, and forgiveness. 
•  John was an odd man, who developed quit the crowd.  They followed him.  John was asked who he was.  He replied by saying he was just preparing the way for the One.  John didn't want them to him, but to know Jesus.  John baptized as a sign of repentance.  According to Jesus, John was the greatest of all prophets.  Even John felt unworthy of Jesus.  We should feel the same.  John was quick to give Jesus all the glory.  John was shown that Jesus was the Messiah at His baptism, by the Holy Spirit descending like a dove.  John's job was to point others to Jesus.  Today, people are looking for someone to provide security.  Our job is to point them to Jesus.  
• The disciples proved to us that words of faith come easy, but deep appreciation of Christ comes by faith.
• Nathanael was a man I hadn't heard much about until this chapter.  His little part in this chapter speaks volumes to me.  He almost missed out on the Messiah by stereotyping.  He said nothing good could come out of Nazareth.  Jesus knew this.  Nathanael was impressed by Jesus' knowledge of him.  Jesus promises greater things than this!  We need to invite those who stereotype to know who the REAL Jesus is.  So many believe they know who He is but don't have a clue.  That's our job!  Point them to HIM!

I pray I can stay on track with this study.  I am known to fall of the wagon and don't stick with things well.  However, I know this study time with Him will help my days ahead.  

Just a few photos of a few people that I am more than grateful for!

A man of God who loves to read His Word!

 

And two little cuties who God is allowing me to raise!